I have to confess my ultimate and utter confusion.
OK, so those that have been peeking in from time-to-time may remember a posting about my 'reminder' that folks were reading this. Well, how does one share that message? Here's what I am talking about.
During the past four months I have become aware of several other blogs or websites by folks that I know or am acquainted with. Most of these have been passed on by friends or are linked to friend's websites. And you know what...I am shocked. The stuff that people post on these sites - the PUBLIC sites - is mind boggling!
I mean think about it. Do you go on a b*tch about a professor or supervisor or boss and wish them "ultimate pain"? And if you are so bold to do so, do you have their full name listed?
And what about sexually related stuff? I mean, some of the stuff that people put up on public sites is SO distressing.
And beyond the sheer posting - that anyone would actually put this up - well, the problems are much deeper than a simple public exposure. Some of these folks are engaged in careers or vocations that are associated with public relations type stuff, children, caring for others...and truly I am fearful and praying for those they work with.
The final question....what does one do when one learns of these postings? Should they be shared with someone? Once I confronted someone with what was posted, and was basically told to go to h*ell. What is my responsibility here?
I ask for your thoughts, ideas, suggestions....because I have come across these things too many times. Please...and pray for these people and those they come in contact with. Some of this can be and will be extremely painful and hurtful.
Urgh.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
What a treat!
I experienced something new last night. An organic vegan restaurant. And let this carnivore tell you, I was blown away!
The exquisite restaurant is The Dragon Fly Neo-V, close to the campus of OSU. I would have never thought to go to a place like this, but I was overwhelmingly surprised and enchanted.
As I was eating (and I can't remember or tell you everything, because the terminology was a bit new to me - both veggie-wise and gourmet-wise) I kept trying to remind myself that there was no meat, no dairy, etc...in what I was eating. And let me tell you - the risotto I had the creamiest sauce on it, that I just couldn't get enough.
The chef also brought out an appetizer for starters and a chocolate for clean the palate. Wow. But let me tell you the bannana 'split' we had was the tops. The bannana was 'browned' (probably the wrong term but it was cooked in some way) and it was topped with apple caremel sherbet, and avocado bananna gelato! Let me tell you, I never thought I would like any dessert with avocado, but this was THE BEST thing I have ever tasted - ever! (Ok, well my mom's cheesecake is still up there as the BEST thing I have ever tasted.)
Let's just say - my world was expanded last night. The tastes, the textures, the colors, the presentation, and oh yea, the company (the President of the seminary invited me out with him and his wife, a great professor, and a speaker/facilitator who had just flown in for a faculty event today) - I was blessed last night.
The exquisite restaurant is The Dragon Fly Neo-V, close to the campus of OSU. I would have never thought to go to a place like this, but I was overwhelmingly surprised and enchanted.
As I was eating (and I can't remember or tell you everything, because the terminology was a bit new to me - both veggie-wise and gourmet-wise) I kept trying to remind myself that there was no meat, no dairy, etc...in what I was eating. And let me tell you - the risotto I had the creamiest sauce on it, that I just couldn't get enough.
The chef also brought out an appetizer for starters and a chocolate for clean the palate. Wow. But let me tell you the bannana 'split' we had was the tops. The bannana was 'browned' (probably the wrong term but it was cooked in some way) and it was topped with apple caremel sherbet, and avocado bananna gelato! Let me tell you, I never thought I would like any dessert with avocado, but this was THE BEST thing I have ever tasted - ever! (Ok, well my mom's cheesecake is still up there as the BEST thing I have ever tasted.)
Let's just say - my world was expanded last night. The tastes, the textures, the colors, the presentation, and oh yea, the company (the President of the seminary invited me out with him and his wife, a great professor, and a speaker/facilitator who had just flown in for a faculty event today) - I was blessed last night.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Lately I have been doing some fairly intense reflection and pondering on the vocation of a pastor. Part of this is because I am about a month from learning where the church will be assigning me (regionally), partly because I have several close friends who are struggling in their own vocations as pastors, and partly because, well, I have had some 'required' reading for my latest leadership class.
What I am reflecting on currently is the call to lose oneself. Lischer in the first part of his book, "The End of Words: The Language of Reconciliation in a Culture of Violence" speaks to this when he writes, "A profession summons the best from you. A vocation calls you away from what you thought was best in you, purifies it, and promises to make you something or someone you are not yet." (p. 30)
And then I think of what I have heard over and over again about being a healthy leader, along with my own longings - you must find a place to be "you" not "Pastor you" and you must protect that place. I don't pretend to put on any fronts, as I am often one who speaks about being authentic and real. But in this recent reading and especially 2:Corinthians 4:11-12 I am brought to ask the question, "How far must I die? How much of me must I put on the block?"
And I keep coming back to the answer - Completely. All of me.
For Jesus did this very thing - gave himself wholly and fully. I am called to proclaim this and the promise and calling that is found centrally in the life and ministry, death and resurrection of Jesus. This is hard and that which all pastors are called to. And in that calling is a call to indeed give up wholly oneself, in order to find the full self that God has created us for. The process of becoming fully and wholly human - in the image of God. And with that brief 'pondering' I will turn back to my reading.
Enjoy the snow (for those in the OH-VA region of the world.)
What I am reflecting on currently is the call to lose oneself. Lischer in the first part of his book, "The End of Words: The Language of Reconciliation in a Culture of Violence" speaks to this when he writes, "A profession summons the best from you. A vocation calls you away from what you thought was best in you, purifies it, and promises to make you something or someone you are not yet." (p. 30)
And then I think of what I have heard over and over again about being a healthy leader, along with my own longings - you must find a place to be "you" not "Pastor you" and you must protect that place. I don't pretend to put on any fronts, as I am often one who speaks about being authentic and real. But in this recent reading and especially 2:Corinthians 4:11-12 I am brought to ask the question, "How far must I die? How much of me must I put on the block?"
And I keep coming back to the answer - Completely. All of me.
For Jesus did this very thing - gave himself wholly and fully. I am called to proclaim this and the promise and calling that is found centrally in the life and ministry, death and resurrection of Jesus. This is hard and that which all pastors are called to. And in that calling is a call to indeed give up wholly oneself, in order to find the full self that God has created us for. The process of becoming fully and wholly human - in the image of God. And with that brief 'pondering' I will turn back to my reading.
Enjoy the snow (for those in the OH-VA region of the world.)
Sunday, January 14, 2007
The Positioning of Hagar and Sarai in Genesis 6:1
Note: In talking with a few friends about this brief paper that I wrote for my Genesis class last quarter, someone suggested I post it to my blog. So, here's a small piece of my thinking here at seminary. The original paper included Hebrew text, however I have not figured out how to include such here on blogger, so it has been removed.
First appearing ‘together’ in Genesis 16:1, Hagar and Sarai represent for many feminist theologians a touchstone for understanding the historical and present-day relations between Jewish, Christian, and Muslim believers.[1] And yet the reality is that in many studies of the book of Genesis limited attention is given to these two women individually (and when attention is given it is leaning more towards Sarai as the ‘dominant’ woman) and to their relationship as women within the society and traditions in which they are found. Thus I see this paper as a starting point for a much needed conversation, by specifically looking to the positioning of Hagar and Sarai by the biblical writers, positioning within the text itself (Gen. 16:1), and positioning within Hagar and Sarai’s relationship with each other.
Positioning Within the Text
Within the text itself, both of these women are positioned in relation to who owns them or to whom they belong. In Sarai’s case she is introduced as Sarai, the wife of Abraham. This understanding of Sarai is heard in unison with the understanding within her culture - that a woman was only as good as her womb, and thus she is seen only in relation to the one who will fertilize that womb, her husband. Hagar on the other hand is positioned in relation to her being a slave to Sarai, that is, she is introduced into this story only through her relationship with Sarai, the woman who owns and controls her, as her slave.
Positioning Within Relationship
Looking at this verse (16:1) in relation to the positioning of these two women in relationship with each other, Phyllis Trible points to the emphasis on Hagar and Sarai’s relationship as evidenced in the very structure of the Hebrew text. “Reversing the usual Hebrew word order, it places before the verb her [Sarai] name as subject,” and then it is only after the statement of the problem (Sarai’s lack of offspring) that Hagar is introduced.[2] These two women, through this positioning by the biblical writer in the textual structure, are placed in opposition to each other, surrounding Abraham as that which stands in between them.
This positioning is further noted in the understanding of their positions within society. In addition to what was noted regarding ownership, other factors are clearly evident. Sarai is pictured as “married, rich, and free” all characteristics and attributes which within that society would have made one powerful. However, she is also noted as being a woman as well as “old and barren,” which would have made her dependent upon the men in her world (either father or husband.) Hagar, on the other hand is imaged as a woman who is “single, poor, and bonded” while at the same time being “young and fertile.” [3] At once the positioning of these two women within the text, within the society, and within their relationship with each other we see a tension. For at first glance we see Sarai as being the one who is powerful and taking action, while Hagar is seen as powerless and an object of Sarai’s action. But on second glance, the power differential is shifted as Hagar is the one ‘on top,’ for she is young and fertile, while Sarai’s position is diminished due to her age and barrenness.
First appearing ‘together’ in Genesis 16:1, Hagar and Sarai represent for many feminist theologians a touchstone for understanding the historical and present-day relations between Jewish, Christian, and Muslim believers.[1] And yet the reality is that in many studies of the book of Genesis limited attention is given to these two women individually (and when attention is given it is leaning more towards Sarai as the ‘dominant’ woman) and to their relationship as women within the society and traditions in which they are found. Thus I see this paper as a starting point for a much needed conversation, by specifically looking to the positioning of Hagar and Sarai by the biblical writers, positioning within the text itself (Gen. 16:1), and positioning within Hagar and Sarai’s relationship with each other.
Positioning Within the Text
Within the text itself, both of these women are positioned in relation to who owns them or to whom they belong. In Sarai’s case she is introduced as Sarai, the wife of Abraham. This understanding of Sarai is heard in unison with the understanding within her culture - that a woman was only as good as her womb, and thus she is seen only in relation to the one who will fertilize that womb, her husband. Hagar on the other hand is positioned in relation to her being a slave to Sarai, that is, she is introduced into this story only through her relationship with Sarai, the woman who owns and controls her, as her slave.
Positioning Within Relationship
Looking at this verse (16:1) in relation to the positioning of these two women in relationship with each other, Phyllis Trible points to the emphasis on Hagar and Sarai’s relationship as evidenced in the very structure of the Hebrew text. “Reversing the usual Hebrew word order, it places before the verb her [Sarai] name as subject,” and then it is only after the statement of the problem (Sarai’s lack of offspring) that Hagar is introduced.[2] These two women, through this positioning by the biblical writer in the textual structure, are placed in opposition to each other, surrounding Abraham as that which stands in between them.
This positioning is further noted in the understanding of their positions within society. In addition to what was noted regarding ownership, other factors are clearly evident. Sarai is pictured as “married, rich, and free” all characteristics and attributes which within that society would have made one powerful. However, she is also noted as being a woman as well as “old and barren,” which would have made her dependent upon the men in her world (either father or husband.) Hagar, on the other hand is imaged as a woman who is “single, poor, and bonded” while at the same time being “young and fertile.” [3] At once the positioning of these two women within the text, within the society, and within their relationship with each other we see a tension. For at first glance we see Sarai as being the one who is powerful and taking action, while Hagar is seen as powerless and an object of Sarai’s action. But on second glance, the power differential is shifted as Hagar is the one ‘on top,’ for she is young and fertile, while Sarai’s position is diminished due to her age and barrenness.
Taking Notice
Beginning to take notice of this positioning, both within the Hebrew text itself, as well as within their relationship with and to each other, Hagar and Sarai present to us, as their narratives unfold (16:1-16; 21:9-21), models of how women have and continue even now to respond to positioning that is oppressive and/or liberating. For as they both are seen as oppressed (barren or slave) they also both seek to liberate themselves from said oppression, but in different ways. Hagar seeks to be freed from her oppression by literally running away from it (16:6), while Sarai seeks to be liberated from her oppression by living into the ways and expectations of the patriarchal society in which she lives (16:2).
I believe Trible is right in highlighting the positioning that appears within the Hebrew text of Genesis 16:1, for within the structure of this simple verse, there is a grander story to be told. I also believe that within the positioning that is being ‘done’ to these women individually, there is an opportunity for all women (and all humanity) to resist assumed positioning, or to make ourselves aware of this very active positioning and how it plays out in both our biblical interpretation, but also our faithful living as children of God.
[1] Trible, Phyllis & Russell, Letty M., eds. Hagar, Sarah, and Their Children: Jewish, Christian, and Muslim Perspectives. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press. 2006. p. 1.
[2] Trible, Phyllis. Texts of Terror: Literary-Feminist Readings of Biblical Narratives. Philadelphia: Fortress Press. 1984. p.10.
[3] Ibid.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
The nagging question...WHY???
Earlier this afternoon, I received news that my friend Amy died. She has been, since I have known her, courageously battling cancer. We celebrated that she had been cancer-free for a time, but shortly after she returned to Trinity for her senior year she was diagnosed with cancer again. But she fought throughout the year and was the strongest person I think I have ever seen - in class even when she probably should've just crashed, and mentoring and encouraging me as a young woman in ministry. Her faith was what kept her looking up and smiling, trusting in God and the promise we have all ben given. Her faith and committment to God and the church was a gift to all of us.
And for a while now, another friend and I have been continually asking the age-old question, "Why?" Why does she have to battle this disease? Why Amy? She just graduated from seminary and began serving as a pastor. She had a passion for teaching and preaching, and for asking the tough questions. Why her? Why now? It just doesn't seem fair!
Well, we haven't found an answer, and we probably never will. Death is a part of life. What we do know is that God's promise of salvation is sure! There is no question about that. And God has blessed all who have known, or been impacted by Amy's shear love and passion for God and those around her. That is for sure. Death doesn't have the last word!
I pray that God will enfold Amy's family and friends in God's arms and remind us all of the promise and hope that we are gifted with in Christ. May our lives reflect the passion and the love that Amy lived!
And for a while now, another friend and I have been continually asking the age-old question, "Why?" Why does she have to battle this disease? Why Amy? She just graduated from seminary and began serving as a pastor. She had a passion for teaching and preaching, and for asking the tough questions. Why her? Why now? It just doesn't seem fair!
Well, we haven't found an answer, and we probably never will. Death is a part of life. What we do know is that God's promise of salvation is sure! There is no question about that. And God has blessed all who have known, or been impacted by Amy's shear love and passion for God and those around her. That is for sure. Death doesn't have the last word!
I pray that God will enfold Amy's family and friends in God's arms and remind us all of the promise and hope that we are gifted with in Christ. May our lives reflect the passion and the love that Amy lived!
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Freedom Writers
This is one powerful and eye-opening movie. At first I thought I would like this simply because it would be a sappy, teacher-changing-the-world, type movie like "Dead Poet's Society" (which is still on my top 5). But within a few minutes, I knew there was more to this movie than sentimentality.
The incredible piece about this movie is that it is based on a real group of students and a teacher who put her entire self into her vocation as a teacher. And even though there is still the "happy ending" - this "happy ending" is not just a Hollywood invention. Through the work of this teacher and her students, there is a foundation ( www.freedomwritersfoundation.org) and the writing and reflections of these students and their teacher are now documented in a book, and the recently released movie.
Sure, teaching is about some strategies, and knowledge - but the essence and life of teaching is about passion and committment.
Another important aspect of this film is the truth telling that takes place regarding the life of too many students in our communities. These students were written off, like many, many before them on account of their context, their race, their language, or their responses to all of these. This adds to the struggle and only causes further continuance of the cycle of pain and seperation from society. It is unacceptable that there are kids who go through and endure the pain, struggle, abuse, neglect, violence, etc... We need to step up and see this, offer an ear and a shoulder - as we commit to living in true community and living with each other as sisters and brothers.
In the end, I was taken by two things. First, I was reminded that Jesus is with all of those that we forget, write-off, or neglect - holding them up, loving them, all the while calling us to step up to our call as fellow human beings. Second, one of my friends who saw the movie with me said as we were driving home, "I feel like such a slacker." And I truly don't think that this is the intention of the movie, but rather to remind us of our power as human beings, as one person. No, we may not ever affect the lives of that many kids (or people) in such a profound way, but being disciples of Christ we, through our ture and just living, will impact others around us. God's at work amidst us when we are with each other, and when we are real about who we are, as forgiven children of God, the image of Christ is what is seen.
So....go check it out. Let me know what you think.
The incredible piece about this movie is that it is based on a real group of students and a teacher who put her entire self into her vocation as a teacher. And even though there is still the "happy ending" - this "happy ending" is not just a Hollywood invention. Through the work of this teacher and her students, there is a foundation ( www.freedomwritersfoundation.org) and the writing and reflections of these students and their teacher are now documented in a book, and the recently released movie.
Sure, teaching is about some strategies, and knowledge - but the essence and life of teaching is about passion and committment.
Another important aspect of this film is the truth telling that takes place regarding the life of too many students in our communities. These students were written off, like many, many before them on account of their context, their race, their language, or their responses to all of these. This adds to the struggle and only causes further continuance of the cycle of pain and seperation from society. It is unacceptable that there are kids who go through and endure the pain, struggle, abuse, neglect, violence, etc... We need to step up and see this, offer an ear and a shoulder - as we commit to living in true community and living with each other as sisters and brothers.
In the end, I was taken by two things. First, I was reminded that Jesus is with all of those that we forget, write-off, or neglect - holding them up, loving them, all the while calling us to step up to our call as fellow human beings. Second, one of my friends who saw the movie with me said as we were driving home, "I feel like such a slacker." And I truly don't think that this is the intention of the movie, but rather to remind us of our power as human beings, as one person. No, we may not ever affect the lives of that many kids (or people) in such a profound way, but being disciples of Christ we, through our ture and just living, will impact others around us. God's at work amidst us when we are with each other, and when we are real about who we are, as forgiven children of God, the image of Christ is what is seen.
So....go check it out. Let me know what you think.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Being busy doesn't mean productive...
Well, week 1 of my 'final' winter quarter is over. Wow. It was a short one, with no classes on Monday due to the holiday, but at times it was long. And yet it is now "gone." But I have learned that I will be so very busy this quarter...and that is after I have been trying to 'say no' and not do everything. So the running list looks something like this...three papers in constructive that make me very eager and excited; three papers and a practical project (which makes me ever more excited) for leadership; six or so books to read for my independent study on theories of Christian education; TAing (teaching assistant) for ministry of ed. in which several times I will be 'flying solo' (and this side may be for a future post - but is strangely scary to me - but a 'good' scary I think) ; assigment day is coming up (Feb. 20) - my parents are flying in (yeah); I am preaching twice in January (once in my old MIC congregation and once here in chapel - which IS scary to me); supervisors from internships are coming into town for a few days in Jan.; the team from New Orleans will be hosting a benefit dinner on Feb. 1 and I have some 'running' around to do that; great hockey game on Feb. 11th (someone's birthday too - so that will be awesome!); my I-Group is leading worship in Jan.; and well all the other 'regulars' of student life and general life as a whole.
Now, granted I have lived through this much and much more in other parts of my life (I think of teaching two undergraduate classes and taking three grad. level courses, while also discerning my call to all of this in the first place - those were some long nights with interesting dreams) but this seems heavy to me right now. And as I have reflected on this there are several emotions running free amidst this. First is chaos, and for those of you who know me, you know I love order and control (not being in control per se, but things being in control.) And I guess as I type here I realize that chaos is not necessarily an emotion - but the angst that accompanies that for me right now is all about the perceived chaos. Second is fear, fear of the unknown that lies ahead of my in the upcoming months. I will learn in Feb. of a 'general' direction for that unknown, and I am fearful - fearful of my ability to 'really' do this, fearful of moving far from family and friends, fearful of well all the newness. The third emotion is almost uncontrolable excitement and eagerness. I can't wait to get out there (how's that for a Lutheran tension - fearful to get out/anxious to get out) and see what God's got in store for me, my future ministry, and the wonderful people God and the church call me to serve and serve with. My call as a pastor has been more fully affirmed in the last year and a half - and that just makes me giddy with eager anticipation and maybe a bit of naivete.
And here's the 'other' thing that I have reflected and observed amidst all of these emotions and fears. And its like a "no-duh" moment for me, but bear with me. God is standing amidst all of this chaos, angst, fear, excitement, and eagerness calling me to love myself in the midst, to go easy on myself, and to live in the wonder (at another time I will post an entry here about wonder in relation to one of my favorite books by Renita Weems and a new favorite that I am in the middle of right now by Barbara Brown Taylor) that is each and every new day. Being so busy and 'distracted' often makes me look away from the wonder, to step out of the wonder that is being a child of God, to live and grow in the light of Christ, to be loved every second of my existence and showered with grace and promise.
So, amidst my busyness I am going to try to be intentional and look, and listen, and feel, and ponder the mystery and wonder that is our loving God and God's presence in our lives. Not a 'New Year's Resolution" per se, but a life now experience. I don't want to keep missing this wonder because I am so caught up in the busyness of life. And I don't want to simply note the emotions and move on, but rather to be in those emotions wholly and so discern God's presence and calling amidst the chaos, angst, fear, excitement, and eagerness.
God is so good. There's not much more that can be said - for God IS good.
Now, granted I have lived through this much and much more in other parts of my life (I think of teaching two undergraduate classes and taking three grad. level courses, while also discerning my call to all of this in the first place - those were some long nights with interesting dreams) but this seems heavy to me right now. And as I have reflected on this there are several emotions running free amidst this. First is chaos, and for those of you who know me, you know I love order and control (not being in control per se, but things being in control.) And I guess as I type here I realize that chaos is not necessarily an emotion - but the angst that accompanies that for me right now is all about the perceived chaos. Second is fear, fear of the unknown that lies ahead of my in the upcoming months. I will learn in Feb. of a 'general' direction for that unknown, and I am fearful - fearful of my ability to 'really' do this, fearful of moving far from family and friends, fearful of well all the newness. The third emotion is almost uncontrolable excitement and eagerness. I can't wait to get out there (how's that for a Lutheran tension - fearful to get out/anxious to get out) and see what God's got in store for me, my future ministry, and the wonderful people God and the church call me to serve and serve with. My call as a pastor has been more fully affirmed in the last year and a half - and that just makes me giddy with eager anticipation and maybe a bit of naivete.
And here's the 'other' thing that I have reflected and observed amidst all of these emotions and fears. And its like a "no-duh" moment for me, but bear with me. God is standing amidst all of this chaos, angst, fear, excitement, and eagerness calling me to love myself in the midst, to go easy on myself, and to live in the wonder (at another time I will post an entry here about wonder in relation to one of my favorite books by Renita Weems and a new favorite that I am in the middle of right now by Barbara Brown Taylor) that is each and every new day. Being so busy and 'distracted' often makes me look away from the wonder, to step out of the wonder that is being a child of God, to live and grow in the light of Christ, to be loved every second of my existence and showered with grace and promise.
So, amidst my busyness I am going to try to be intentional and look, and listen, and feel, and ponder the mystery and wonder that is our loving God and God's presence in our lives. Not a 'New Year's Resolution" per se, but a life now experience. I don't want to keep missing this wonder because I am so caught up in the busyness of life. And I don't want to simply note the emotions and move on, but rather to be in those emotions wholly and so discern God's presence and calling amidst the chaos, angst, fear, excitement, and eagerness.
God is so good. There's not much more that can be said - for God IS good.
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